Skip to main content

When you don't "want to"

"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart."
Psalm 37:4

The pastor at our church often prays, "Lord, give us the 'want to.'"
I don't think I've ever heard him talk about this little prayer that he prays or explain it in any way.
Most Sundays, he just prays and skips right along to the next topic.  But every time he says this one little line, it sticks in my heart like a field burr.  I can't get past it.

It's similar to what King David prayed in Psalm 119:36.  "Lord, give me the desire to follow your laws."  And like the verse above, I believe that God gives us the desires of our heart, which means that he actually places the appropriate desires within our hearts and then grants those desires.

So any time I don't "want to" do something--when I have absolutely no desire to do it--the answer is as simple of a little prayer.  Lord, give me the "want to."

There are a million things that I know I should or should not be doing at any given time.
There are people I don't "want to" forgive or love or even be in the same room with.
There are plenty of personal character traits that I don't "want to" work on.
There are days that I don't "want to" pray or be empathic or think compassionate thoughts.
Hell, there are even days I don't "want to" even get out of bed.
There are certainly days that I don't "want to" follow God's laws or accept his love or have faith.
Just being honest.

Some days, the most...the very most...that I can do is whisper a small Lord, give me the "want to."
Believing that this small whisper is the most pleasing, profound prayer in God's ear.
A prayer that He loves to answer.



Comments

Popular posts from this blog

What it means when a narcissistic pastor says, "I love the church"

I ran across this article while going through a rough place in my life.  It had profound meaning for me in dealing with some of the individuals in my life that have narcissistic traits. The article highlights the fact that when a narcissist says, “I love you,” he really means that he loves the way that you (fill in the blank): take care of his needs, focus your energy on him, submit, etc. Individuals that have been in relationships with narcissists often admit to feeling crazy, not recognizing the abuse while it was occurring, and to keeping secrets to cover for his abuse, infidelity, etc.  I wonder if this is what many people are recognizing in the #exevangelical movement.  Because as I was going through this article again, I began to realize that many of the narcissistic traits could be applied to the many pastors and men in church leadership that I have known through the years. Being in church ministry for twelve years, I became proficient at silence and lies to cover the behavior…

I visited a Mosque. And went to church.

Today, our local International Rescue Committee organization hosted a solidarity event at the Islamic Society of Wichita while their members were gathering for Friday prayers.  We stood outside, held signs, and let them know that we are with them.  That we are forthem.

But before the event I met my new friend, Ratna, for a tour and some lunch in the well-worn gym.  I was running a little early so I sat by myself on the concrete fountain in front of the building.
It was a beautiful day.  The sun was warming me.  I could smell the food cooking.  A suburban in the parking lot said, "Girl Scout Cookies For Sale!" written in white shoe polish on the dark windows.

Pretty soon, Ratna pulled up in her minivan, tagged along behind by her 5-year-old son with his bright blue iPad and headphones.  He was watching a Pokemon cartoon and was humming along to the songs.  Skipping as he went.  Ratna smiled, hugged me, and led me inside for a tour of their worship space.

It was a beautiful b…

To "speak the truth in love" does not mean "reprimand"

"...speaking the truth in love..." Ephesians 4:15
Notice the "dot, dot, dot," before and after that phrase?  But how many times have you heard it as a full sentence?  Speak the Truth in love.  As a full sentence, it loses all context.  And how often is this phrase used as an excuse to reprimand another "in love" and tell them about their multitude of sins?
The New Living Translation has a completely different take on this phrase.  It states, "we will hold to the truth in love."  Now, that changes it a bit, doesn't it?  That makes the action about me and not about me acting on another.  
In context, Ephesians 4 is talking about the Body of Christ and how we must work to grow up and mature in the Lord.  "Then we will no longer be like children, forever changing our minds about what we believe..."  The work is for each of us to grow up and cling to the Lord's love.  
And what Truth are we clinging to?  It is the truth that we are d…